So I Started Watching The Sopranos...

I’m about about 20 years late, but The Sopranos is an awesome show. Though it is an America crime drama,  I never expected it to have as much comedy as it does.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the show, it centers around Tony Soprano (an up and coming crime boss of the Jersey mafia), his family, and his associates. The show tries to answer the question of what the modern mafia would like today (if today was 20 years ago).

I’m still wrapping up season one so I’ll share three quick lessons I’ve taken away so far without giving away too much of the storyline:

Lesson #1: Even the tough need support.

Tony’s story is told through his therapy sessions and we see how this really tough man is having a hard go of it dealing with his business and family issues. He’s afraid of his own vulnerability because of the perceived weakness of it. In turn, his inability to be vulnerable is causing him anxiety and ruining his close relationships. His desire to appear strong doesn’t allow him to deal with his past trauma that still haunts him today. We all need support in one way or another. You must create space in your life to deal with your past trauma if you want to build a better future for yourself.

Lesson #2: Some people would rather be more famous than rich.

This is a great line from the philosopher Terrence Thornton. Some people care more about being known than actually being successful. My saying is that people will do anything for money, but will die for attention. We see this play out in Tony’s world as some in his circle would rather be seen and respected as a gangsta versus actually having the money from the business flowing in steadily.

The perception of respect and how that correlates to self-worth are themes explored deeply within the show.

Lesson #3: Family can be an F— word.

In a perfect world we would all come from loving and supporting families. That is rarely the case and is probably the exception to the rule.

Most parents are coping with their own trauma that often gets passed on to their kids. Tony’s relationship with his mother exemplifies this dynamic. She’s my least liked character on the show up to this point and Tony deserves so much better than her.

What is also true is that Tony isn’t great to his own family. He causes them just as many problems as they cause him. It’s a virtuous cycle. We are all trying to overcome the way our family — real, chosen, or business-related — have let us down or how we’ve let them down. Your family can often hurt you worse than your enemies.

I’ll see what other life lessons and themes I can extract from the rest of the show in the future. I do see why this show has been so acclaimed and highly recommend it to anyone that hasn’t seen it yet.